Cyber Incivility: Why digital miscommunication drains teams
One issue that comes up repeatedly in team culture work is cyber incivility. Not the obvious kind - no aggressive messages or full-blown arguments. It's the low-level, often unintentional stuff that chips away at trust.
Things like:
Blunt or abrupt emails
Delayed or no replies that feel cold
Poor non-verbal signals on video calls
Vague “Can we talk?” messages with no context
You’ve probably seen it in your own team. Or maybe you've second-guessed yourself after pressing send on an email. These micro-moments can create unnecessary stress and friction, especially in already pressured environments.
Why cyber incivility matters
A 2024 systematic review by Pak and colleagues highlights how digital tools make these issues worse. It’s not just communication, it's the emotional toll.
Key findings:
Lack of nonverbal cues makes intent hard to read, so people assume the worst.
Asynchronous tools give people time to ruminate, which I see all the time in coaching.
Sadness is a common emotional response to digital rudeness, and less so anger, so it’s often ignored or dismissed.
Misunderstandings happen easily. I remember one Teams call where we were halfway through a sensitive conversation. The other person later said I’d been smirking. They were hurt. I hadn’t been, at least not on purpose. But that moment stuck with me. It felt like we were both let down by the medium – it created a barrier to real human connection that was needed in that moment.
It's not a comms problem. It's a culture problem.
This isn't just about email training or Teams etiquette. It's about how people feel when they're communicating with each other. Worrying about tone, overthinking emojis, checking if something sounds too cold, these are signs that people care about how they come across.
It’s emotional labour. And when these digital missteps build up:
Trust weakens
Conflict simmers
Psychological safety erodes
In a hybrid or remote setup, this becomes even more important.
What teams can do
The review suggests a few simple steps to help reduce the impact of cyber incivility:
1. Agree team norms
Be explicit about tone, timing, and when not to email (e.g. evenings, sensitive issues).
2. Build emotional awareness
Help people tune into how their messages might land.
3. Make repair normal
Create space to check in or clarify after a message that didn’t land well.
4. Leaders set the tone
What leaders model online becomes the team’s standard.
Talk about it
These issues are real and they impact how teams work together. Cyber incivility might not make the top of the risk register, but it’s shaping your culture every day.
If you're leading a team or supporting one, start the conversation. Ask people what feels respectful and what doesn’t.
Have you experienced digital miscommunication in your team? What made it better?
Reference:
Ju, B., & Pak, S. (2025). Managing cyber incivility in digital workplaces: a systematic review and HR strategies. International Journal of Organizational Analysis.
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